


The Trickster v. The Hacker

by Anonallia



Category: Apex Legends (Video Games)
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Smut, Funny, Humor, Love Confessions, Love at First Sight, Minor Character(s), Mirage is a baby
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-04
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-16 23:42:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29832723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anonallia/pseuds/Anonallia
Summary: Mirage thinks Crypto is trying to move in on his "territory," but the hacker has an eye for another legend.
Relationships: Crypto | Park Tae Joon/Wattson | Natalie Paquette, Lifeline | Ajay Che & Mirage | Elliott Witt
Kudos: 15





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I am going to put a smut tag as an incase, I might change it for later.

The new planet's icy wind felt as if it was cutting through my clothes as we were lowered down. I turned towards the new kid, “Hope you know how to count kid,” he then leaned in close to me.

“Try and keep up, old man,” I looked at him confused.

“Old man?” Suddenly I felt Lifeline touch my back.

“Coming through boys,” she pushed me and him both off the platform. It took me a second to get my bearing before flying towards what looked like a frozen tree. We landed on the ground, and I watched as the new kid began to loot. “Brr, didn’t know that it would be this cold,” I turned and saw Lifeline hugging herself shaking off the cold.

“Ah, well I can always take off my jumpsuit for you,” I winked at her, but she rolled her eyes and grunted. I followed behind her picking up loot, I grabbed a Wingman, and checked the chamber. “Hey so how do you like the new guy?”

“Heh, well I don’t know,” I heard her check the chamber of her Longbow, “Yuh know this is his first game, who knows, he might be able to keep up.”

“Yeah, yeah, but do you think he is handsome?”

“Hm, do yuh?” She walked next to me, and touched my shoulder.

“Of course not, that’s not what I am saying,” I brushed her off of me, “I just don’t want anyone to take my place for best looking.”

“If I was to guess I think Octane would be the most handsome,” she placed her gloved finger on her lip trying to think.

“That guy? No way! I am way better looking than him!” she just laughed, and I felt my face heat up in this intense cold scenery. She pushed me lightly, and I smiled at her.

“Are you two done flirting, or..?” I looked up as the new kid jumped from the top landing in front of us. Lifeline crossed her arms, she parted her lips to speak.

“We were simply talking about dinner plans tonight, you know nothing about that, right, kid?” I grabbed my arm around her shoulder, and she nudged my gut. I heard a chuckle escape his lips as I rubbed my stomach.

“Nothing like that, Mirage was just asking me something,” she said and he nodded.

“I see, well are we just going to stand around or are we gonna get the count started,” his eyes darted towards me. I nodded as we began walking west, we climbed up a snow covered steep hill, and spotted a city. 

“That must be the capital,” Lifeline looked at her phone before putting it back in her pocket, “It looks a lot warmer over there than here, so I am all for it,” she smiled at me and him. I touched her shoulder, and felt her cold skin with my finger tips. “ _Nuh romp wid mi_ ,” she swatted my hand away. 

“Sorry, it’s just... I wanted to.. touch,” they both raised a brow at me before shaking their heads and continuing to move on while I followed behind. “You know, Lifeline, I may get a lot of women, hehe a LOT, but I always have time for my favorite medic,” she didn’t reply. “But you know you have to get your item of perfection while supplies last,” I heard her giggle as the kid gestured towards me. “Hey! What are you doing?” I grabbed his shoulder, and he quickly turned towards me.

“What? Jealous, old man?” I scoffed as we made our way inside of a building. We went our separate ways as I went to loot the second floor.

“Jealous? Why would I be jealous? He is stepping on my toes,” I picked up some ammo packs on the floor. “He thinks he can just come in and take my women,” I grumbled before I heard a gun cock from behind me.

“Your women? Heh, you got a lot to learn,” I chuckled nervously as I turned around, raising my hands, and saw Bangalore, she shoved her G7 Scout against my chest.

“My women? I never said that, you are so funny.”

“Funny how?” she glared at me, I spotted in the corner of my eye Lifeline poking her head out.

“You are very humorous, I was talking to the new guy about how cool you are as well,” she laughed before her face turned serious.

“You also might want to tell Lifeline I don’t like it when people try to come up behind me,” Lifeline walked out with Gibraltar pointing a gun at the back of her head.

“Sorry sistah! Yuh know, no hard feelings,” he moved her over to where I was at. “No sudden moves or.. POW! Haha!” I leaned towards Lifeline.

“Where is the kid?” she sighed, and shook her head. “You lost him? He is a child!”

“He is not a child, yuh idiot! Geez I am younger than yuh both, why do I have to babysit?" she spat back at me.

“You are responsible for all new people, duh! From your boyfriend, to that French chick, now to him!” She turned and poked my chest.

“He isn’t my boyfriend! Also her name is Natalie, she needed help!”

“Whatever! Wait, you call her by her name? Why don’t you call me by mine?” she pinched her temple.

“Because yuh go by Witt, and there isn’t much of that going on,” she tapped my forehead, and I frowned.

“I am smart!” I heard Bangalore and Gibraltar laughing, I turned to them, “What? I am smart!”

“Ya bruddha, and I am not gay!” Gibraltar slapped his knee while Bangalore tried calming herself down. I turned to Lifeline as she grabbed her arm, and looked away from me.

“Whatever, I don’t need you anyway, when we get out of this situation. I will gladly leave,” I crossed my arms, and turned away from her.

“Yeah, that’s not going to happen,” Bangalore aimed her G7 Scout at my stomach and pulled the trigger forcing me back over a counter. I gripped my stomach tight as I felt the blood rushing from my body. Lifeline quickly jumped towards me, and put up her shield.

“Witt, I gotcha,” she quickly started to fumble around in her bag for something to help patch me up. I smiled at her, as she pulled out some syringes. She looked at me, and tilted her head with a worried look on her face, “What?”

“You said Witt,” I panted out, she scoffed, I heard them approach us. She injected me with a syringe, and grabbed my hand tight. “Man, it never stops hurting,” I cried out as I gripped her hand tighter as the syringe worked it’s magic.

“I will cover yuh, please just rest,” she let go of my hand as she took out her gun. She proceeded to shoot at them, I tried leaning up, but the pain was still unbearable. I saw a drone float behind us.

"This new guy better not mess up my stats," Lifeline reloaded her gun before grabbing another syringe and stabbing it into me. We heard 4 gun shots before the kid peered over the counter, Lifeline sat up and looked at him with 'awe.' "Show off," I sighed as she helped me to my feet.

"You're welcome," he smiled before making his way to grab the loot. 

"Excuse me, we didn't need help," Lifeline elbowed me in my side.

"Thank yuh," she smiled at him then turned and glared at me.

"Whatever, I can totally do that," I proceeded to grab some loot, "Since you are so perfect, where are we going now?" The kid ignored me as he walked down the steps, and she followed behind him. "Come on guys! Lifeline? Throw me a bone will ya!" I followed behind them again unsure of where we will be heading to next.


	2. Chapter 2

“Okay listen, Lifeline, how about this, I take you on a date, a floating boat, that would be pretty sweet.. Then it can have multiple holograms of me, and a DJ set up, and a grill to cook pork chops,” I started to think of so many different things to add on my floating boat if I ever got one. Oh what am I saying? Of course I will have a flying boat. She continued to walk, directly behind the kid. “Oh you know what I should call it? The Mirage Love boat.. Hm, no that doesn’t have a ring to it.”

“How about the Mirage Voyage?” she giggled, and I snapped my finger at her.

“Oh my god! That is such a good name,” I wrapped my arm around her shoulder and she rolled her eyes.

“Mirage I was just kiddi-” She ducked out of my arm and walked into the kid’s back, “Hey! What is with yuh?” she backed away and peeked over his shoulder to see what he was staring at and I followed. I looked up at him, his face was as red as ketchup.

“Yo dude, what is with you?” I pouted my lip, and he quickly snapped out of it and glared at us. 

“Ooooh,” Lifeline said and she nudged his arm, I tilted my head still confused on what was going on. 

“W-What is it?” I asked her beggingly to know what was going on.

“It’s not what you think,” he backed away from her, turning his back trying to motion for us to continue moving.

“What is it, Lifeline?”

“He has a thing for Natalie,” she blurted out and he quickly turned around and his face was twisted in embarrassment. “Don't be so embarrassed, she is quite the looker,” Lifeline looked back over the ledge and I spied with her. I noticed Renee next to her, and I glanced back at Crypto, and a smile crept across my face.

“Eh she is ok," Lifeline elbowed me, "What? Geez. Oh hey! Want me to ask her out for you?” I tried running down the hill, but he grabbed me by my collar. “H-Hey! You got to seize the day!”

“We are in the middle of a game, you idiot!” He spat at me, and I frowned as I pushed his hand away. 

“Game shmame,” Lifeline raised a brow at me and crossed her arms, “Look at Lifeline here, she is beautiful, even if we are in the middle of a game, I will still ask her out.” I pulled a broken rose from my pocket and handed it to her. She unfolded her arms and grabbed it from my hand.

“T-Thanks..?”

“See? Now we have a date after the game.”

“Wait, what?” I made my way over to him and slung my arm around his shoulder.

“Stick with me kid and the girl will be yours,” he grabbed my hand and pulled my arm off his shoulder.

“I don’t need help,” he walked over and grabbed the rose from her, and broke off the rest of the stem before placing it in her hair. She smiled at him, and my jaw dropped. “You are clearly not good with women,” he stuck his hands in his pocket as we continued to walk towards the sorting factory.

We just had to cross a zipline to get over on the other side, I always hated crossing those things especially when there was a high drop. The kid went first, and after he crossed, he gave us the coast clear sign. I gestured to Lifeline to go next, she nodded as she jumped on the zipline. Suddenly she was shot in her back making her fall off, I quickly reached for her hand as we dived off the cliff together. I flipped her so that I could soften the landing for her, my back slammed into the hot geyser water. My vision was blurry, all I could see was gunfire being exchanged above us. 

I heard her panting on top of me, I tried leaning up trying to not hurt her. She had blood dripping from her mouth, I adjusted my body and scooped her up in my arms. I looked up at the kid and he caught my glance, nodding at me to proceed. I ran through the small valley avoiding tripping over my own feet, ignoring the pain spreading throughout my body. She leaned her head against me as I continued to run towards what looked like a group of buildings with a geyser in the middle of them. I busted through the door, closing it behind me, and laid her flat on the ground. I grabbed a syringe and slammed it into her chest. She gasped for air and clutched her chest before sitting up.

“I’m sorry,” she said softly as she was finally able to catch her breath, I shook my head as I grabbed DOC from her pocket and deployed the little guy. I turned towards the door, and pressed my ear against the door to see if I could hear anyone coming. “Witt,” I turned to her as she stood to her feet.

“You can thank me later, we got to go save that kid,” she nodded as she followed behind me out of the building.


	3. Chapter 3

We made our way back to the other side of the canyon, but we had noticed that the team was about to cross over on the zipline. I motioned to her to stay quiet, and she snuck alongside the rocks as we inched closer and closer to the team, it was Gibby, that annoying robot, and Bloodhound.

“Do yuh think yuh got him, bruddha?” I overheard Gibby ask someone, but I wasn’t entirely sure who.

“I do not know, but I do know that I shot something,” I heard the smiling robot say, I rolled my eyes and noticed Lifeline giggle.

“I really don’t want him to see me,” I always hated being around him, he was always way too cheerful. No one is ever that cheerful even as a robot it was too much happiness all in one program. He was always so annoying when I was on a team with him, but I know Lifeline has said several times that she would rather be on a team with him instead of me. _But what does she know?_

“Witt,” Lifeline snapped, and I caught up to our current situation, we peeked over the rock and watched as they got on the zipline over to where that kid was. “We got to go help him.”

“Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to ditch him,” she clicked her tongue and walked out in the open. I stumbled behind her and we noticed his drone flying above the dome, so that meant he was still alive and still in the area. Suddenly a giant like electric bubble appeared, and Lifeline dashed on the zipline, I followed her soon after. The bubble burst the second we landed on the other side. We walked into the door, and caught the team off guard.

“Oh hey it’s my bestest friend and my other bestest friend!” The robot waved to us before I shot him in the stomach, Gibby tried shooting at Lifeline, but she ended up quickly scoping him. 

“Where is Bloodhound?” I looked around and heard the door open from downstairs, me and her got ready as we aimed at the door. We saw Crypto come up holding Bloodhound’s body. “Woah, nice going kid.”

“Don’t be such an idiot, I didn’t really need your help, you on the other hand,” he turned to Lifeline and handed her a syringe, “I need you the most.”

“Hey now!” I stepped between them, and he started to laugh. I felt Lifeline place a hand on my shoulder and pull me back.

“Now I am getting tired of yuh two. Crypto, yuh need to stop teasing him, and Witt… Stop being annoying,” she walked between us.

“I am not annoying!” They both looked at me with a straight face, but whatever.

“Anyway, if we are really going to win, yuh two are gon have to get along,” she grabbed my hand, and then his, “Crypto this is Mirage or Witt, Witt stop calling him kid and call the man by his REAL name,” she moved away from us, and I just glared at him. We were in silence for quite a bit till I sighed and grabbed his hand.

“Fine, Crypto, but don’t go stepping on my toes!”

“We will see about that ol- Witt,” he gripped my hand back as we shook on it. Lifeline smiled at us both before wrapping her arms around us. 

“Now come on boys, we got a game to win!”

  
  


We walked through the sorting factory, it was pretty loud, not my favorite place on the map so far. The area didn’t seem looted as we made our way through the area. We had split up again from Crypto and I was finally alone with Lifeline again.

“So do you always keep your hair like that?” I asked Lifeline, and she shook her head. “So when will I get to see you with your hair down?”

“If we win, I don’t mind showing yuh. I don’t get people’s obsessions with seeing my hair down.”

“I am sure you would be hot,” she stopped in her place and turned to me.

“Hot..? Am I not hot now?” Her eyebrows furrowed at me and hands on her hips. _Tell her she is hot, but better_ , I screamed at myself.

“That is not what I mean,” I quickly leaped over and tried to touch her hand, but she backed away. _Dude, you are totally blowing it_ , “You know what I mean! You would look like a different person, maybe even hotter,” she scoffed, and I mentally slapped myself. _Yeah, you blew it._ “That’s not what I meant.”

“You really have the way with the ladies,” Crypto came up to us, he reached out and placed a hand on her shoulder. “I have detected some hostels in the area,” he removed his hand before motioning towards the roof.

“Isn’t that the last team?” Lifeline asked and he nodded. We stepped towards the door, but a gas canister fell right in front of the door. I sighed not wanting to deal with Caustic at the moment.

“ _Jegil_ ,” Crypto said in his native language before turning towards another door that had already been trapped by electric fences. “This isn’t good,” he couldn’t even send out his drone to check where they were at, we only knew that they were around us. 

“It’s okay, let’s just make it to one side of the building and defend,” we agreed with Lifeline and made her way to the end of the factory, all three doors were covered in traps. We looked up and we could see the team sitting on us, waiting. I had noticed that Crypto was staring at one spot in particular, I scooted my way over to him and looked up. It was that blonde girl again, I nudged him and he snapped out of his daze.

“What?” he barked at me.

“You are staring pretty hard, dude, relax you might put a hole through her,” I flashed him a smile, but he rolled his eyes.

“It’s only a matter of time before they push,” he said as he turned to Lifeline. “Have any ideas?”

“I do actually, thank yuh for asking, Witt, I need yuh to listen,” she pulled me in close and I waited for her command like an eager puppy. “Please distract them after Crypto EMPs.”

“But it will hit you guys too,” he protested, and she nodded. 

“I understand, but we have to get rid of everything, and have a even playing field, Can yuh trust me?” He looked at me, and I nodded along with the plan.

“Fine, I will trust you.”

“Good, now let’s win this match,” I walked over to one of the doors as he began his EMP. He was right, the shock had hit us too, but everything blocking the doors were now gone. I dashed out the door and sent out a decoy that followed me. I noticed the three of them still recovering their shields. I shot Caustic, and as Wrath was about to shoot me, Lifeline was able to get a shot off on her. Caustic tossed a canister and the gas filled the air. I always hate fighting against him, the gas was super unbearable.

I coughed, and backed up from the fumes, Lifeline followed behind me. She tried handing me DOC to heal us, but Caustic shot me in my stomach making me fall into her arms.

“So annoying,” he stomped up to her with his Peacekeeper in hand, “Where is your little street rat?”

“Right here,” Crypto slapped the man across the face with his drone, but only to be shot in the back by Wattson. He turned to her, and fell to his knees in front of her.

“I am very sorry about that, I hope there are no hard feelings,” her accent was thick as she revved up her hands with electricity. “Before I do this, I saw you staring at me on top of that hill. You are very cute,” she tapped his nose before pulling out her gun.

“Memba this, I'm the one yuh should have concerns about,” Lifeline let go of me as she aimed her Longbow at her, Wattson looked up at her surprised, “yuhr time has ended,” she pulled the trigger shooting her directly in her chest. Her body fell on her knees, and then dropped forward against Crypto.

> **Here are your new Apex Champions**

I hugged Lifeline so tight after we were back on the ship, she was smiling ear to ear with happiness. I looked over and saw Crypto speaking with Wattson, and I quickly tried to dash over to him, but she grabbed my hand. 

“Come on Witt, leave them be,” she gripped my hand tight.

“So in that case, do I get to see you with your hair down?” I asked her, and she sighed before reaching for her hair. I waved my hand to stop her, “Why don’t you wear it down on our date?”

“Heh we have a date?” She asked me, and I shook my head.

“Would you like to go on a date with me?”

“Well yuh did help me back there in the arena, so sure, why not,” she clutched my arm lightly before walking over to Octane. I felt a warm feeling in the pit of my stomach, _I didn't eat anything strange, maybe I am just hungry, porkchops sounds really good after a game like that. I wonder if she likes porkchops as much I do_. I snapped out of my thoughts as Crypto walked over to me.

“So how did it go?” I asked him, playfully, _there is no way he got a date with her._

“Well I got a date, and you?” _Chick is desperate._

“Same,” Crypto chuckled, and I turned to him and raised a brow.

“Try not to mess it up, idiot.”

“Same can go for you,” I relaxed and put my arms behind my head. “We will see who has had the better date.”

“Wait this isn’t a contest,” he tried to protest.

“Yeah, because you would lose, loser,” he scoffed.

“You are such a child, fine, I bet I will have the better date,” he punched my shoulder, and I punched him back. Our eyes connected as we reflected each other's glares.

“Fine, kid.”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can see Crypto getting wrapped up in Mirage's dumb contests.


End file.
